A few weeks ago, I deviated from my usual workout routine (hop on elliptical, rock out to Gaga-Ke$ha-Hillary Duff medley, do 2 pushups, pat self on back) and tried a free kickboxing class at my gym. WOW. Turns out I didn’t know what working out really was, I couldn’t even make it through the warm ups! I had to step out and walk in place until I could catch my breath and then keep trying. After class, I had to go back to the office to drink water and sit still (as still as my twitchy muscles would let me be) for an hour before commuting home. One co-Quirker asked if it was raining outside because I was so drenched. I said no, it was sweat. He left the office very quickly. I was sore for about 5 days after my first class. Really sore. As in, I would walk like a Barbie doll by keeping my legs and arms as straight as possible and only bending at the joints. People laughed at me. But they’ll be sorry. They’ll all be sorry!! I’m keeping up with the classes, and even bought boxing gloves. The salesguy at the sporting goods store asked if I wanted “pretty pink” gloves which sounded ridiculous. I told him I wanted classic red and that I’d wipe the smirk off his face with them one day. He said that was cute. Goddammit.
My belligerafication (it works if you say it fast) doesn’t stop there though. I also took a free Jiu Jitsu self defense course where the black belt sensei encouraged all the women to kick, stomp, punch and gouge the eyes out of anyone attacking us. It was so kickass that I signed up for a 6-week course. Watch out, world!