The Ultimate Chanjob

As crazy as my life has been lately, this past week surpassed all expectations.  There were record highs (all legal) and lows (with a chance of precipitation) which led me to the next stage of The Chan Plan.

Last week began with a case of minor burnout.  Yeah.  Apparently the last 3 months of constant activity was not humanly sustainable.  No wonder I was going through so much coffee!  Luckily, I had a backlog of Lost episodes to watch and a friend with a beach house to visit.  And somewhere in between those two things, I scored an interview for a job that sounded like it was created specifically for me.

The interview went amazingly well and a second interview was set up for Monday afternoon.  Perfect!  I sauntered uptown to meet with the Fab Four where we, of course, compared ourselves to Sex & the City.  All the other ladies were fabulous, gorgeous models and knew how to flip their hair the right way.  So I ended up being Miranda.  I knew this would happen when I moved to Brooklyn.

We made it out to Long Island and were driving around gawking at crazy non-city things like grass and yard sales (we were sale’ing, hardy har!) when we saw it.  A light golden brown classic whale of a Caddy with a bright red For Sale sign stuck cruelly under its left windshield wiper.  We screeched to a halt and ran out in our heels and dresses and giant sunglasses to get a closer look.

“Heeey ladies!”  A pale Gollum-esque man with the mustache of a 70’s porn star approached us, looking like he had won the lottery.  “Wanna give it a test drive?”  He was playing with his mustache when he said that, so nobody asked what he meant.  We gave the Caddy longing glances and backed away from the man slowly.

The Doll joined us later that day via Jitney, so we became the Fab Five.  Then I drank half a bottle of tequila, so they became the Fab Four again plus one awkward asian stumbling around the deck, trying to lift the winter cover off the hot tub, screaming “Hot Tub Time Machiiiine!!”  Not that anyone has proof.  I mean.  I’m kidding, nothing like that ever happened ever.  Ever.

So here comes the part on Sunday night when we decide to drive back to the city on Monday morning instead.  Because we were definitely going to leave on time.  Hand Model and The Doll scoffed at us and left.  They were right.  I slept until 10am on Monday and then ran around the house waking everyone else up.  We got on the road within 15 minutes.  But then we got cocky and congratulated ourselves for being so fast by getting breakfast wraps at Subway (???) and then stopping at Target to shop for a while.

I got back to my apartment at 1:10pm.  I showered and changed and somehow arrived early for my 2pm interview.  So early that I was left alone for a few minutes in their conference room with a dry erase board and markers.  By the time I left, I had filled the board with smiley faces and suggestions to hire me.  And when they DID hire me, approximately 3 hours after I left, I knew I had found the right place to work!

That’s right, people, I am a functioning part of society again.  Booyah!!

I am not stopping all side projects, however.  So if you are in the city this Saturday, I will be marching in the Hudson River Pageant.  Please come see a great (free) show and parade spectacular!!


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